Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Oh, The Humanity!

So you guys may have heard about a Tumblr blog called Dog Shaming. If you haven't you should go right now! http://dog-shaming.com/

Well, I decided that my darling little punks needed a good shaming too. 

Data quite obviously has no regrets at all.

Seven is bored with my accusations.

Let me see your pet shaming photos!

Thursday, August 23, 2012

The Answer

Hello! It's been a while, but it has been time well spent for me! I was preparing for the "Dirty Girl Mud Run" that I spoke about in my blog post "I'm Getting Dirty". I had more fun than I ever thought I would. I really, really enjoyed it! So much so that I've decided to keep doing them!

The next one is in October and it looks awesome. If I can get in a bit better shape (this one is 10k instead of 5k like the Dirty Girl) then I'm going for it. I bought proper running shoes last night, so I can get serious about it. My ultimate goal now is to do The Tough Mudder. it will take me years of training, and a lot of dedication, but I want to be able to look at myself and know that I did THAT. I want to look at things in life and say "Yeah, I got rear ended, and I can't really afford to lose my car... but this is easier than that time I ran through live wires to to get to the finish line after having run 11 miles."

I can do this.

Oh! I suppose you would like to see photos of the Dirty Girl? I can totally do that for you.

It was an absolutely gorgeous day for it, and thankfully not too warm, as I was about to put myself through more than I had ever done in my whole life.

August 19th, Delafield WI

We were dressed up in vaguely super hero costumes for the run, because why not? So as a nod to my friends, I will refer to them by their super hero identities. There were five of us, and we had a Supergirl, a Batgirl, a Robin and a Wonder Woman. I was, of course, Captain America. Yeah we were mixing up our comic universes.. shut it.

*cue dramatic music*
We called ourselves The Just-Us League. Robin is my sister-in-law by the way.

All of the costumes were pretty awesome. There were women competing in tutus, in angel wings, in wigs... you name it! The only thing I didn't see were ladies trying to wear high heels, which is a good thing as they would have quickly broken their necks. The best costumed team was (in my opinion) the Sumo Ladies. Yep, you guessed it. They were dressed up as Sumo Wrestlers.

Seriously, it can't get any better than this. Hilarious!

Sadly, because they want me to pay for photos of myself looking like a dork, they wouldn't allow my brilliant husband to follow us around the track. Which means my darling blog-stalkers are missing out on photos of me clinging to a cargo net two stories high, being dragged through the mud on my face by Supergirl, and the massive Just-Us League mud battle. It was EPIC! I would leave right now for a chance to do it all again today.

Batgirl and I celebrate having made it out of the woods, which were full of cords strung between the trees like creepy spiderwebs
The huge wall climb was, I think, the hardest one. We'd already been jogging/walking for about 3 miles at this point, and I wasn't blown or anything but that was a really tall wall. I ended up twisting my ankle a little on the up-and-over portion, but I was fine after a while.

Captain: Ah damn... can I just.. like, stay here? Robin: WHEEEEEE!

It was an amazing feeling to finish. I wouldn't have bet on me completing the whole course, but I did! I felt simply fantastic afterwards too! I honestly felt like a super hero.

Only clean spot on my face: under the goggles.
We're some dirty mother.. shut yo mouth!

The experience has highlighted for me the need for taking my health more seriously though. Looking at the photos makes me realise that I cannot continue to be in the shape I am currently in, and still respect myself. It's not a matter of "Oh, I want to be skinny so people think I'm pretty", it's a dawning realization that the things I enjoyed doing are very difficult when I'm out of shape. I love camping, and hiking, and I've always wanted to take kayaking trips, but it's more difficult when you're out of shape. I also love to swim, but I'm self-conscious in a swimsuit, so I don't do much swimming anymore. I don't want to continue like this any longer.

I want to feel like this more often is what I'm saying. 

And The Answer Is!

I listen to a few different music apps while I'm at work, mostly because I get bored fairly quickly if one of them gets stuck playing the same tracks over and over. Lately I've been listening to a lot of hip-hop, dubstep and as much Die Antwoord as I can get. I doubt many of you have heard of Die Antwoord, so I'll explain briefly. They're a South African group and though I would say they're rap, it has a lot of techno and tribal music involved. I pretty much love it. Some of their lyrics are in Afrikaans, but that's not much of a barrier for me, as I have a friend who talks to me in Afrikaans so I pick up some of it and the rest I just look up. The interesting thing is that they're so very different in interviews than their stage personas. Apparently they don't drink, or do drugs, despite what they sing about. They're pretty interesting. Die Antwoord translates to "The Answer" by the way. I wonder what the question was?
My husband says my fascination with them is weird, but I like them anyway!

I apparently just missed out on them in concert in Chicago, which is disappointing.

Jy moet luister na 'n paar vreemde kak.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

A Post About Friends & Coffee

I need to get a set journal style...

I want to be consistent from post to post, and I can never really remember what I did from post to post. Hmmm...

Deviant ART

Once upon a time I was a very very active member of a website called deviantART. I was SUCH an active member that I was running their charity for a while Artists For Charity (which sadly seems to have no one at the helm currently), and was given the award of Seniorship. For the past few years though I haven't done much on the site, but a few days ago I wandered back. I feel a little more inspired than I have in a long time, so I'm hoping to get back into the groove again. I have canvases, paints, and other little bits and bobs that perhaps not having my camera will be less of a problem for me than I originally expected.

In case you're curious, here's a link to my personal page on dA. I go by "switchbladeserenade". I've thought about changing it, but I've used that online artistic moniker for so long, I feel like I need to hold onto it.

My Kiddo

Last post I was really down about my son leaving, and you all were so very wonderful about supporting me. It really helped to get me through it. I also called my monster a few times since he left, and that helped as well. He plans on finishing school in North Carolina, and then attending college here in Madison. So I'll get to have him here with me, although he'll be technically an adult, while he completes school. Which is awesome, as he's growing into quite a great young man. One I'm proud of.

We took some photos of him the last day he was here, but they haven't been edited yet. I'll kick my husband's ass and get that done very soon.

You guys will love the mohawk.

I'm Only Happy When It Rains

That's the song that Garbage sings, and they will be very pleased today. Garbage is playing here in town, (I'm reliably told this is their hometown) and it is raining today. My darling friend Heather invited me and the ball-n-chain to come see the concert with her, as she had two spare tickets. I took the day off today, and we're leaving in a few hours. It's an outdoor show, so it should be damp, sticky, and completely fun. There will be photos of this too!

I normally take photos at every concert event I go to, but this time only Husband will be. The various bands I have taken photos of are in the gallery of the deviantART link above. My favorite band to shoot has to be Powerman 5000. They wear crazy costumes on stage, and put on quite a show.

Alright darlings, I'll post more soon. Thank you again, I can't tell you how much your comments and support help me out during the rough patches.

EDIT: Omg! I meant to talk about my new coffee pot, and I forgot. Okay so I was checking out the new Goodwill just down the street from us, and there was an amazing coffee maker/espresso machine by Krups for only $10. It looked brand new, as in had never had water run through it at any point. We already had a coffee maker though, so I balked at buying it. Husband insisted, and weedled until I agreed. Good thing too, because I totally destroyed our old coffee pot this morning while cleaning it. My hand slipped  and I cracked the glass with my scrub brush.

Some of my readers know me from other websites, or in the real world and they'll tell you I'm a hot mess in the mornings without coffee. We hadn't been to the store to buy beans recently, and I'd run out two days ago, so things were dire. Yesterday at work I decided that I would sell my soul to get some coffee after I realised that my underwear had been on backwards, and I hadn't noticed for hours. HOURS!

I can't seem to get the Goodwill price tag off though. I'll have to soak it and then scrub really hard, I think.

Now... time for another cup of coffee! *runs off making "squee" sounds of joy*

Thursday, August 2, 2012

The Art of Failing

The Hardest Day Is Here

Today is the day that my son flies out. I dread this day every year. I'll spend the rest of tonight after he leaves either completely immersed in a distraction, such as a video game or book, and quite possibly drunk. Then I'll fall into a deep depression for about two or three weeks, and weep inconsolably at random moments. Actually, I have tears on my face now, but I can still see to type, so I'll just continue. Where it gets rough is the feeling that I did the right thing by him, sending him to live with his father, because here I can barely keep a roof over my head. Then I wonder where the fuck I went wrong in my life choices that THAT is the best option I have.

I'm not any of the stereotypes of mother who doesn't have custody of her kids. Don't think for a moment that I lost custody, I didn't. My son begged me to live with his dad because his dad had, at the time, just returned from a tour in Iraq and my son hadn't seen him in nearly two years. There were other factors, such as the fact that I was leaving North Carolina to go back to California and the area I was moving to had shitty public schools, but that was the main factor. I still wonder what I could have done differently.

I want him to stay with us so badly. My husband is fully supportive of that too, they get along great. The problems is money. This Summer has served to illustrate that point painfully well. With the extra person in our household things have been tough. We've had to sell things precious to us to pay bills, and we're looking to sell more. All of this so that my husband can complete his schooling, and have a job that pays well, so that we can drown in student loan debt. I feel like we're on a merry-go-round that is moving too quickly, and we wanted to get off hours ago, but the operator is insane and won't let us go.

For all that, it was a good Summer. My boss has been great about allowing me time whenever I asked for it. We have been able to do some fun things, with kind assistance from friends. I haven't taken as many photos as I would have liked this year, and there will be even less now. One of the precious things we sold was my dSLR. The power bill needs to be paid however, and with the heat we've had this year, it was higher than normal.

Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning, failing so badly I will die. I think to myself that maybe wading out into a lake and taking a deep breath would be better... But then I think of my son, my husband, and I know I can't do that.

Not the best photo, but we were hiking.
I keep telling myself that it will get better, that I'm doing what I can, with what I've got... It's just so hard. I must remind myself that I'm better off than many people right now. I have a stable job, there is food on my table, and I have friends who love me. I'd like to say I'm not concerned about the roof over my head, but that's a lie. I should be alright there, but I worry.

Sorry this post has been so depressing. I just can't shake the feeling that I somehow failed my son, while I was trying to do the right thing by him. Maybe I should have kept him with me? Maybe I should never have left NC (not that I would have had anywhere to live if I hadn't...)? They say hindsight is always 20/20, but that's not true. I still don't know what I should have done differently. I've had people looking at me like I must be a shitty mom because my son doesn't live with me for so long, I believe them now.

I could go on about this for hours, but you guys have got to be sick of my whining at this point. Let me lighten things up with Buttermilk the goat. She's a dwarf goat who seems to enjoy picking on her friends. (not my goat btw)